X-Man Earns an R

REVIEW DEP’T.

Deadpool & Wolverine
Directed by Shawn Levy

THIS COMIC BOOK movie is Rated R “for strong bloody violence and language throughout, gore and sexual references,” and this is a tremendous understatement. I tried to count the number of just regular stabbings in the extremely well choreographed and ingeniously constructed and filmed fights in this flick. It started to get fuzzy after 100, and then after that there was a whole sequence that was easily a hundred all on its own. I thought about counting the number of stabbings directly to the groin area, but I can’t multitask like that. There is also a tremendous amount of bludgeoning and getting shot by guns, and being electrocuted by futuristic cattle-prod Roman candle nightsticks and other sorts of more fanciful comic book weapons. It’s a lot, the gore, the splatterings, the hackings, stranglings, but it’s kinda the Kill Bill (Vols. 1 and 2)-style, where it’s, well, like a comic book!

Also there is a metric fuckton of cursing, all the words, including the C-word, and it’s a thorough, steady downpour of sophomoric cishet-male-oriented sexual entendre, not even trying to double up on itself, just juvenile filth, poo-poo-pee-pee and dick and butt remarks, which are consistent with the main character Deadpool, who is an idiot, in a property now in its “threequel” stage.

The other main character is Wolverine, played by Hugh Jackman, and I guess for an actor who worked a character in the rated-PG world of the X-Men franchise for almost a quarter of a century, it’s probably kinda fun to be able to curse in an R-rated manner and get a whole buncha money to support a film.

The Wolverine is in the picture because he is needed to help Deadpool save the universe, and yeah, with the bad run of luck Marvel has had with Marvel Cinematic Universe projects of late, it’s a solid double entendre, with the other universe being part of a Sacred Timeline of a specific verse in the Multiverse, etc, yawn. Comic book movie! Redemption and stuff! Save the world! 

This is a good comic book movie, though; it is ultimately very good-hearted and comedic and has lots of surprises and fun actors and good and evil characters, with surprisingly earnest dramatic moments and a staggering volume of seamless fan service. This flick pulls in all kinds of stuff from all corners of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, both movies and TV, but you don’t have to know any of it to be entertained if you are on purpose going to an R-rated comic book movie. I go to a lotta comic book movies, and this one is so stuffed with references and callbacks I couldn’t even, but it did not get in the way of enjoying the movie. The fourth-wall-breaking committed by star and co-writer Ryan Reynolds, who plays Deadpool, an annoying, chemically-enhanced mercenary who is impossible to kill on account of their regenerative powers, is on a Ferris Bueller's Day Off level, and it serves the story well, because the one thing it’s always difficult to do in these stupid comic book movies is communicate the history of the characters and their motivations, because these are our contemporary folk tales, our morality plays, and they are twice-told tales that mutate and double back on themselves and start and fail and reboot, generally on a three-picture deal cycle (one or two if they flop), so a movie that figures out how to vomit gouts of exposition while winkingly providing even more exposition plus satire and commentary about the state of comic book movies is in good order.

WEATHER REVIEWS

Bethany Beach, Delaware, August 13, 2024

★★★★ When breakfast went into the oven, clear sun was flowing in from the east. By the time the meal hit the table, clouds had seemingly settled into place. Once people were in their swimsuits, though, the sun had battled back and fully half the sky was blue. A horseshoe crab, tail plate  covered with shellfish, washed up onto the sand. Children gathered around it, and then it was flipped over, on its back and the children were not helping. The water was choppy but mild; the trough between sandbars was an intermittent jacuzzi. The clouds and sun traded control; lifeguards put on sweatshirts, took them off, put them on again. The breeze was cool and the sun was warm and how those two things intereacted depended on how sea-soaked a person was at any moment. The light was strong enough to cast bright wavering refracted bands through the hip-deep murky Atlantic. 

EASY LISTENING DEP'T.

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SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.

WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from The Swedish, French, American Cook Book, by (she's ba-aaack) Mrs. Maria Mathilda Ericsson Hammond, published in 1918, and now in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.

Tongue Sandwiches (Sandwiches à la Langue) au Parmesan

Cut bread in a heart shape according to the number of people—to six sandwiches take one half cup of chopped tongue with three tablespoons parmesan cheese and one tablespoon butter. Stir to a cream; season with pepper and salt; stir on ice; add two tablespoons whipped cream. Spread the bread, decorate with a small strip of Spanish pepper all around with a diamond in the centre. Serve with the salad or afternoon tea.

If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net. 

MARKETING DEP'T.

Supplies are really and truly running low of the second printing of 19 FOLK TALES, still available for gift-giving and personal perusal! Sit in the crushing heat with a breezy collection of stories, each of which is concise enough to read before the thunderstorms start.

LESS THAN 5 COPIES LEFT: HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW, Joe MacLeod’s account of his Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account found here at Hmm Daily. The special MINI ZINE features other viewpoints related to an appearance on, at, and inside the teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, and is available for purchase at SHOPULA.

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