Winning the news cycle

GOOD AFTERNOON! SO far, there's been really only one news story this week, and the implications of it are either simple and already in the news—Joe Biden's handoff of the presidential nomination to Kamala Harris was clean, decisive, and clearly popular with Democrats—or complicated and impossible to say much of anything about yet. Therefore we're not going to waste your time by trying to come up with a take about it for the sake of having a take about it. 

All we have to offer is a meta-take: everyone had pretty much given up on the idea that "the news cycle" existed anymore, let alone on having a theory about how to exploit it, but the reportedly doddering president and his purportedly bumbling vice president made their move in the perfect empty spot in the week, right after Sunday brunch, when the TV shows that believe their job is to drive political opinion had finished blathering for the week and gone home. Whatever else happens between now and November, that was a real accomplishment. 

FRONTIERS OF SCIENCE DEP'T.

A Brief News Item From the Ocean Depths

METAL NODULES ON the deep ocean seafloor appear to be generating oxygen by acting as batteries, generating enough electrical interaction between their different metallic components to split seawater into hydrogen and oxygen, researchers reported yesterday. The oxygen from the nodules—"dark O2 production," or DOP, as the scientists call it—may help sustain life in the entirely lightless abyss. 

Humans, meanwhile, are working on trying to mine those nodules to make batteries for electric cars. The researchers observed fluctuations in the rate of oxygen production that may have been caused by the benthic lander they dropped on the seafloor disturbing the sediment "and exposing electrochemically active sites on the nodules," which then degraded over time. "[I]f true," they wrote, "DOP activity may fluctuate with sediment coverage on the nodules inviting the urgent question of how sediment remobilization and distribution over large areas during deep-sea mining may influence DOP."

Once again, the planet—to say nothing of the galaxy—turns out to have potentially habitable conditions for life on a scale far beyond what people ever imagined. And once again we're seeing if we can make them uninhabitable. 

BRAIN ITCH DEP'T. 

THE PROFESSIONAL RACIST Peter Brimelow posted a video on the social media platform called X today saying that his long-running white nationalist website, VDARE, will have to shut down under the financial strain of dealing with multiple lawsuits over alleged mismanagement. The video appears to have been shot in the castle purchased by VDARE's nonprofit foundation, which Brimelow and his wife were accused of using as their own residence. Brimelow was flanked in the video by a pair of...sculptures? They looked like folk-art renderings of Scabby the Rat. Unable to decide which part of the frame was the most upsetting place for the eye to go, we tried rearranging the components. 

OUR FAR-FLUNG CORRESPONDENCE DEP'T.

Hello Indignity, 

I am writing, not with a sandwich review (one day!), but with a question. I have a vague memory of reading a sure-fire, no-fail method for hard-boiled eggs in this newsletter, can you point me in the right direction? I cannot remember if it was an Indignity blog, email round-up, footnote, tweet? I did a quick search on Ghost, but to no avail, and I had already started cooking. I ended up following a method that did fail me. Nothing more frustrating than peeling eggs and losing a fair amount that sticks to the peel, so wasteful! 

While I am on the subject, is there another food with a higher loss rate than an improperly boiled egg? As a current pescatarian, sometimes when cooking a full fish I feel some loss, but not much. When I did eat meat, carving up a roast, or a chicken, I felt the same, but with meat you can gnaw at the bone. I am not trying to gnaw eggshells! Some fruits, if improperly handled (looking at you mangos) can wield an unsatisfactory yield. Curious if Indignity HQ has any strong thoughts on this subject? 

Either way, hope to hear from you, with or without the recipe (though I have a preference). Thanks for the posts!

Best, 
Zach

INDIGNITY REPLIES: The method we've recommended for hard-boiling eggs is not to boil them at all, but to put them in an already-steaming steamer for 12 minutes, as prescribed in detail by Serious Eats. Six minutes for soft-boiled. Straight from the steamer into a bowl of ice water. Whether that's helpful with your eggshells depends on the mysteries of eggs. 

My very first mango was accompanied by specific instructions about how to slice off an almost-hemisphere from each side of the pit, cross-hatch the flesh of each hemisphere all the way down to the skin, and flip the skin inside-out so the little cubes of mango present themselves for easy nibbling. If I'd been trying to work out what to do from first principles, I'd never have gotten anywhere. 

As for the more general question, Indignity's editorial position is that there is delicious crab meat in every single segment of the crab's body, no matter how tiny, and it is only respectful to learn the science of extracting all of it. 

Subject: Oyster Crabs

I read with interest the June 4, 2024 sandwich recipe featuring oyster crabs. Lately, I have taken to grilling oysters whenever there are people over or several other things happening on or around the grill (butter, garlic, white wine – topped with parmesan and smoked paprika breadcrumbs, for the curious).

We are not new to oysters but usually have them West Coast and raw and/or at an oyster bar where someone else does the heavy lifting while we drink and suffer through the collective slog of a Chicago baseball season. For grilling at home, however, I buy basic East Coast oysters that are typically larger and cheaper. Why pay boutique oyster prices for flavor profiles I'm just going to cover up with butter and garlic and cheese, you know?

As such, oyster crabs were a new phenomenon for us when the little guys started showing up in recent purchases. My partner, in particular, was quite put off by these unexpected free riders and called for me to abandon entire lots whenever one was discovered, though the oysters themselves seemed perfectly fine. This was a waste of money, AND I also didn't get to have oysters. 

So, I was delighted to learn that oyster crabs are a *thing* and not to be feared but possibly even enjoyed. 

TLDR: I routinely extract great intangible value from my Indignity subscription, but yesterday it tangibly paid for itself in the form of not shoveling sacks of perfectly good shellfish into the garbage uneaten.

So, thanks for that.
Best,
BR

INDIGNITY REPLIES: Enjoy your double dose of shellfish! 

WEATHER REVIEWS

New York City, July 22, 2024

★★★ The sky was gray with a bit of glare coming through it and a bit of texture to the clouds. The cloud cover held the heat at bay, and a breeze coming up the cross street chased it away entirely for a moment. The bedroom awaiting a new air conditioner was stuffy. A red U.S. Geological Survey sprinter van was parked by the Pool, and two workers were launching an inflatable rowboat from the grass below it. Out on the water, they put their two-piece oars together, fitted them into the oarlocks, and set off. A lean but healthy-looking rat sauntered out of the growth by the path, took a few steps onto the pavement, then seemed to realize it wasn't a squirrel or chipmunk and scurried back the way it had come. A photo shoot involving a massage table and a woman in a blaze-orange jumpsuit set up on the stretch of lawn where the boat had launched. Now and then the sun glimmered through enough to cast faint shadows. 

EASY LISTENING DEP'T.

CLICK ON THIS box to find today's Indignity Morning Podcast.

Indignity Morning Podcast No. 306: A dispatch from Loserland.

AMERICA’S FIRST PODCAST

INDIGNITYTom Scocca

SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.

WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected for afternoon teas from Mrs. Ericsson Hammond's Salad Appetizer Cook Book, by Maria Matilda Ericsson Hammond. Published in 1924, and now in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.

Rolled Almond Sandwiches à la Hildur

Sandwiches d’Amande en Roulade à la Hildur

Trim ten slices of bread all around all even size; stir two spoons of butter to a cream and spread half the slices of bread with the butter, then turn them over and spread the other with the mixture of almond paste and butter and roll, rolling the buttered part out.

These sandwiches can be made in different colors such as pink, white, and green, the green ones roll in chopped pistachio nuts, the white ones in finely chopped almonds, and the pink ones in almonds that have been colored pink. These sandwiches are served for afternoon teas.

If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net. 

MARKETING DEP'T.

Supplies are really and truly running low of the second printing of 19 FOLK TALES, still available for gift-giving and personal perusal! Sit in the crushing heat with a breezy collection of stories, each of which is concise enough to read before the thunderstorms start.

LESS THAN 10 COPIES LEFT: HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW, Joe MacLeod’s account of his Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account found here at Hmm Daily. The special MINI ZINE features other viewpoints related to an appearance on, at, and inside the teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, and is available for purchase at SHOPULA.

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