Repeating gunfire

STATUS QUO DEP'T.

How Will People Remember Today's School Shooting?

TWO STUDENTS AND two teachers at Apalachee High School in Georgia were reportedly killed by a 14-year-old student with a gun today. The 14-year-old was arrested alive, and police said he will face murder charges as an adult. 

The Onion ran its "‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens" story, as the Onion always does. The repetition over the past decade has become a much grimmer joke than the original grim joke, a futile ritual about the futility of ritual. 

Here were some of the liveblog headlines about Apalachee High School from the Washington Post, the New York Times, and CNN. 

• After shooting, shaken parents are reunited with their children

• Parent recalls frantic texts to daughters during shooting lockdown

• At first, students thought a lockdown was a drill. Then, they heard gunshots.

• Students and teachers huddled in fear as the gunfire rang out

• Student says gunman tried to get into classroom but was denied by classmate. Gunfire was heard moments later

• "I love you": Senior at Apalachee High School texts his mom after gunshots ring out

It's not simply that the news outlets who aren't the Onion are writing the same script over and over again. It's that the huddling students and texting parents are following the script. By now the students have spent their entire lives rehearsing the script. The incident writes itself. People like me think about trying to write something commensurate with the horror and realize we've already tried. School starts here in New York City tomorrow. 

WEATHER REVIEWS

New York City, September 3, 2024

★★★★★ An airplane cruising on the hazeless blue looked as close as a bird, the scale of things made incomprehensible by the crystalline light. Breeze moved down Broadway at a strolling pace. The mix of sharp leaf shadows and loose bright blobs wavered in the dappled shade. Patches of plain white touch-up paint high on a blank wall caught the vibrant color of the sky. The younger boy kept bringing his hoodie along while going outdoors but not wearing it. The whole pale front of an otherwise unremarkable apartment building glowed like a spotlit tablecloth. A woman in a lightweight bolero jacket bicycled past the uptown bus, then got overtaken again. 

EASY LISTENING DEP'T.

HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast.

Indignity Morning Podcast No. 324: Salted ducks.

A SALTY PODCAST

INDIGNITYTom Scocca

Click on this box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.

INDIGNITY MORNING PODCAST

Tom Scocca reads you the newspaper.

INDIGNITY MORNING PODCASTTOM SCOCCA

SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.

WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from The Swedish, French, American Cook Book, by Mrs. Maria Mathilda Ericsson Hammond, published in 1918, and now in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.

Raisin Sandwiches (Sandwiches aux Raisins secs)

Select large stoneless raisins and press out flat four together for each sandwich; butter slices of thin bread and put the raisins in the centre; put another slice of buttered bread on top; cut out in any shape desired. Press one of the raisins down in the centre of the sandwich. Serve with any kind of an entree for luncheon or dinner. [Figs can be used in the same way.]

If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net. 

MARKETING DEP'T.

Supplies are really and truly running low of the second printing of 19 FOLK TALES, still available for gift-giving and personal perusal! Sit in the crushing heat with a breezy collection of stories, each of which is concise enough to read before the thunderstorms start.

LESS THAN 5 COPIES LEFT: HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW, Joe MacLeod’s account of his Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account found here at Hmm Daily. The special MINI ZINE features other viewpoints related to an appearance on, at, and inside the teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, and is available for purchase at SHOPULA.