MR WRONG: The world is my column-oyster
Indignity Vol. 4, No. 205
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: Typing Words About Typing Words
A LOTTA PEOPLE who type words for fun and/profit are always bleating like they’re out there breaking rocks on a chain gang or Making The World A Better Place, but I am here, the Mr. Wrong Column is here, every goddamn week, to tell you that it’s always a blast to type the Mr. Wrong column, and if I didn’t have to work for a living, I’d make the Mr. Wrong column for a living.
Every day I wake up alive is a day to find an Idea for a Mr. Wrong Column. It is a General Interest Column! The Royal We ain’t here to tell you what to think about Politics, that’s fuckin’ child’s play! Look at how many Political Pundits are out there hogging up space from the real, the Genuine Columnists, like the Mr. Wrong column!
The Mr. Wrong column is here to educate you about Public Health!
JOE MACLEOD
And remind you about The Holidays!
JOE MACLEOD
And do a First Person Singular on the Job Market!
JOE MACLEOD
And then do some more Service Journalism about Health!
JOE MACLEOD
And do a review of a movie review written by one of those Pundit-class phony-baloneys!
JOE MACLEOD
And stick up for defenseless animals while reminding you about a should-be Holiday!
JOE MACLEOD
And remind you about another important Holiday and tell you some recipes!
JOE MACLEOD
And remember some things! (drugs)
JOE MACLEOD
And show you all about controlling The Means of Production!
JOE MACLEOD
And poop on a less-than Holiday!
JOE MACLEOD
Or be in a bad mood every once in a while!
JOE MACLEOD
And let The Readers write the column!
JOE MACLEOD
Yes! It is the week before Thanksgiving, which is one of my fave-rave episodes of The Holidays, because it’s all about sitting around and eating food and lying around and eating food, and for me it’s about being Thankful for stuff, like stuffing!
The waddling, inbred, cloned, genetically engineered and overstuffed approach of Thanksgiving was all I needed to remember that I write the Mr. Wrong column because what else would I do? It’s not because I don’t have any options, it’s just because the options are boring!
And! This was not a big setup to get you to become a Paying subscriber to Indignity:
Or throw a little something in our Tip Bucket:
Because I ask you to do that every week, right? Thank you for reading the Mr. Wrong column.
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, November 20, 2024
★★★ The smell of smoke was on the air but with it now came dampness. The ginkgos were towers of gold under a sky of a long-absent gray. A few stray red-orange leaves hung in the tangled, downturned branches of the corner cherry tree like goldfish in a net. A rattle like rain was audible on the balcony but for the moment it was just the wind shaking the leaves. At bedtime, or later than bedtime should have been, a hand stretched out in the dark found a fleeting hint of drizzle.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast.
Tom Scocca
Click on this box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
GOT SOMETHING YOU need to justify to yourself, or to the world at large? Other columnists are here to judge you, but The Sophist is here to tell you why you’re right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from Entertainment Cook Book: Recipes by Students of Central College for Women, Lexington, Missouri, compiled by Lexington Central College Club, Mo. Central College for Women, published in 1919 and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
PEANUT BROWN BREAD SANDWICHES
Cut in thin slices crosswise. Spread sparingly with butter, and sprinkle with finely chopped peanuts seasoned with salt. Put parts together, and garnish top of each with a half nut meat. Arrange around cheese wafers made of American cheese cut in thin slices, shaped with a small round cutter and then sprinkle with paprika. — Mrs. Ellen Colburn Hayes, 5025 Maple Ave., St. Louis, Mo.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
