SUMMER FRIDAYS DEP'T. Special MR WRONG: The cover-up is not the crime.
Indignity Vol. 4, No. 103
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: Thou Shalt Let People Wear Masks If They Want to Wear Masks
The MR WRONG column typically manifests itself on Thursdays here at INDIGNITY, but there’s been some disturbances in The Force, so here it is on the Indignity SUMMER FRIDAY episode, which is today also on the first day of Summer, calendar-wise, the 21st of June, and don’t try and confuse me with how it was yesterday, because, look, the True Solstice was yesterday at 4:51 p.m. Eastern Something Time, and that’s not a whole day, like today, the whole day, June 21st, which is Summer, so enjoy all of it if you are able, and if you aren’t, do like I do and keep buying lottery tickets!
I DON’T KNOW what the fuck is going on with this country, seriously. We (as in U.S.) are still reeling from a crippling Pandemic, that is still fucking people up healthwise, and now I see some dipshit in a position of power in The Empire State says they might want to ban wearing sanitary masks? On the New York City subway? What?
It’s everybody’s Country, but in mine, in My Country, 'Tis of Thee, or whatever, you have a right to wear a goddamn prophylactic device to preserve your health! Deeper still, you have a fucking Responsibility to do something like that if you are a contagious and sick pile of illness! Say, MULTIDRUG-RESISTANT TUBERCULOSIS, how about that? A Public Health Menace! Wear a mask for the good of The Nation! You do not have an inalienable right to make people sick with your death-breath!! Also fucking Covid, for fuck’s fucking fuck!
It’s because of Fear, right? If somebody wears a mask they make people have Fear, so, ban masks because criminals wear them to do Crimes? Also, don’t kid yourself, all around The Whole Wide World, Protesting is now a Crime. So, OK, sure, all the criminals are gonna be like, “Well, looks like we can’t rob this convenience store by putting on masks to go in and rob since masks are banned, so let’s go get jobs!”
Fear! Fear of what? Be a-Fear’d of Pestilence! Plague! Robbing liquor stores ain’t even one of the Four Jockeys of The Apocalypse, it’s fucking Pestilence! We got DEATH, FAMINE, WAR, and CONQUEST:
In John's revelation the first horseman rides a white horse, carries a bow, and is given a crown as a figure of conquest, perhaps invoking pestilence, or the Antichrist. The second carries a sword and rides a red horse as the creator of (civil) war, conflict, and strife. The third, a food merchant, rides a black horse symbolizing famine and carries the scales. The fourth and final horse is pale, upon it rides Death, accompanied by Hades. "They were given authority over a quarter of the Earth, to kill with sword, famine and plague, and by means of the beasts of the Earth."
CONQUEST is kinda redundant because that goes with WAR, but hey, you could interpret CONQUEST as COLONIZE, eh? No bible-thumper wants to do that, though, because colonies are how you get people who need the Jesus! Okay, sure Mr. Jesus never wore a mask, but he was never sick! It’s in the Bible!
And what is this Ten Commandments crap? I love the movie, but there’s a gang of other Belief Systems out there, and North America is not the fortress some folks think it is, you know? Melting pot! E Pluribus Unum! I’m not super-concerned with the 10C thing though, the ACLU will get in there, and then one of the other Belief Systems, I bet, the Satan one, with the wacky Baphomet statue, will demand their rights to Equal Representation! The Fifth Jockey! Separate Church and State before they bring in Satan! Thank you.
PROGRAMMING NOTE: Next week I am going on Vacation! You will still get a Mr. Wrong column though, because the First Rule of the Mr. Wrong column is: Always Be Columning! If you are a Paid Supporter of Indignity and would like a selected-by-random chance to receive a postcard from me from my Undisclosed Location, respond to the email address below with the address to which you would like the card sent. Thank you for reading, but thank you more for your cash-on-the-barrelhead support of Indignity!
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
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TOM SCOCCA
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich—serve before the soup—selected from Mrs. Ericsson Hammond's Salad Appetizer Cook Book, by Maria Matilda Ericsson Hammond. Published in 1924, and now in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
Shrimp Anchovy Sandwiches à la Hammond
Sandwiches de Crevettes aux Anchois & la Hammond
One pound of cooked shrimps, six slices of bread, two tablespoons of butter, one teaspoonful of anchovy paste, cayenne pepper, salt, juice of a half lemon, and three peppers.
How to Make It. Stir the butter to a cream; chop part of the shrimps; the rest save for decoration. Cut the bread out with a round patty cutter and spread it with butter and anchovy paste mixed, and with chopped peppers; cut even-sized green peppers in rings about a half inch in height; put a ring of it on each sandwich and fill with the shrimps; flavor with pepper, salt, and some lemon juice. Decorate with stirred butter all around and on the top, and with truffles; put a handle of green pepper in each. Arrange them in the form of a ring on a platter; garnish with parsley in the center and with unpeeled shrimps all around. Serve before the soup.
Shrimp Filling. Put two yolks of eggs in a cup; stir them; add pepper, salt, and lemon juice; mix this with the half cup of chopped shrimps; last add a half cup of whipped cream.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
MARKETING DEP'T.
Supplies are really and truly running low of the second printing of 19 FOLK TALES, still available for gift-giving and personal perusal! Sit in the gathering heat with a breezy collection of stories, each of which is concise enough to read before the thunderstorms start.
HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW, Joe MacLeod’s account of his Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account found here at Hmm Daily. The special MINI ZINE features other viewpoints related to an appearance on, at, and inside the teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, available for purchase at SHOPULA.
