MR WRONG: Strike price

COLUMN DEP’T.

MR WRONG: Why Drive When You Can Walk Out?

I DON’T KNOW how much attention you pay to Current Events, but as a Gentle Reader of the Mr. Wrong column, you don’t even have to, because anything of import will be discussed in this space, as a Public Service, so hey, remember that and subscribe to Indignity and help with the Service!

Today I want to think about the big United Auto Workers strike, and how they are asking for a giant raise and stuff, and how the bosses and shareholders or whatever are probably not gonna be real happy to give the Workers, who—depending on what Commie-Pinko books you read that haven’t been banned or burned or de-rezzed yet—supposedly Control the Means of Production, more dough and better other stuff! Meanwhile the car companies are making Billions of dollars, so it’s real easy for me to say they are Greedy, but we’ll see what happens, I guess, if the Workers go on strike and then both sides get down to make a real-deal.

I’m pretty much always on the side of the Workers, especially when the crops are high, you know? Like, c’mon, how about a little somethin’ for the effort, right, guv’nah? Rich fuckos stay rich because they don’t give anybody anything, right? I got mine! They don’t tip, they slow-pay/no-pay people on deals, they always try and get over on the underclass, etc. Personally, I think a lotta rich people got their dough because they worked for it, and it’s weird to think somehow a Billionaire made their stack by not tipping for pizza delivery, I dunno, yeah every Great Fortune has a Great Crime, I watched There Will Be Blood. Anyway, it seems to me that it’s after they pile up the loot that they all start to get all weird and miserly and stuff, and screwing people over when they don’t have to, I mean, what the fuck, they have a bottomless pit of loot! I read a thing once someplace that said the ideal amount of money for a U.S. American to have, to be happy and not be miserable with mo’ money mo’ problems is like, $70 grand a year, because you live OK, not large, not small, but you're not gonna lose your shit and buy a Maserati and do a buncha blow which you shouldn’t anyway because it’s all cut with fentanyl now, stay away from that shit. Yeah, I forget how long ago I read that thing about having the ideal amount of money, but probably now, adjusted for the year 2023 maybe it’s a buck-fitty a year? Then you gotta allow for how big your family is and stuff, and then figure in the Health Care, just like these Automobile Workers are trying to do. Not to belabor the obvious, but yeah, I’m gonna belay the Captain Obvious and not say that too much money will fuck up your mind.

Car companies, though! Mostly it’s a buncha shareholders. They’re the ones who wanna see Results, and they don’t even run the companies, they’re just holding the paper, so they don’t give a shit about anything except the Number. That’s the real Greed, and the only way you get through to them with a strike is to make sure they know you are gonna fuck up their Number real bad, so might as well sit down for Let’s Make a Motherfuckin’ Deal, OK?

The other thing about this big car strike, for me, it’s fucking crazy that we have an Automobile Industry that is as big as it is. Why do so many people need a new car all the time? I mean I know why you need a new dump truck or construction vehicle, those things get beat on and they wear out. With cars, of course there are car crashes, and unless you got killed, you need a replacement vehicle, but many people are out there like, just buying a new car because they want something New. There are so many cars in junkyards and stuff. Get in your car and take a drive around the industrial areas on the outskirts of your communities, there are strips of highway lined with gaping pits stuffed with cars.

It’s crazy how much manufacturing and energy goes into making a shiny-new car and then you drive it off the lot and it’s suddenly worth five grand less than when you bought it. Most people don’t need a new car any more than people who buy those giant wristwatches that cost a hundred grand need a new wristwatch. How many different ways can you tell time on your wrist? They’re rubes, getting played like juicy Marks on the Midway, shiny crap for for their disposable Income, or for money they haven’t even earned yet, so they finance the new car, which is a whole Industry in itself that does zero to help the world, based on paying for machines that continue to suck up all the minerals and poop out planet-destroying vapors.

One time, once, I bought a new car. It was a 1996 Honda Civic. I drove that fucker over 300K miles and donated it to charity after 20 years of use. Don’t stop me if you’ve heard this before, but I won a buncha money on a teevee game show once, and the first thing I thought I would do was buy a new car. I went out and looked at all these different cars. I test-drove five different Ford Mustangs, I checked out a Honda Fit and some Toyotas and Dodges and a buncha other cars, and in the last new car with the new-car smell that I sat in with the idea I was gonna buy it, I had this overwhelming feeling that I was a chump. I was gonna drop $40K-plus on a new car?!? I ended up buying a 2005 Pontiac Vibe on Craigslist for three grand, and I’m still driving it. If I was rich, I wouldn’t even own a goddamn car, I would hire drivers, who own nice vehicles as part of their Business. Wow, what a Luxury to have a Driver! You can sleep in the car, read something, be drunk, it’s the best, I think. Anyway, the whole idea that we have an Auto Industry is unsound, it’s unsustainable, seriously. We’re gonna now switch to Electric Car and go to Mars or to the fucking Moon to get minerals for the batteries, and Robot Car, and with a bunch of qualifications, I’m all for it, except for the part about how the Auto Industry is gonna continue to make a gajillion cars and base their business on Growth. It’s dumb! No offense to the Auto Workers, I support their demands for better wages, but there should be less cars. I also support the Writers and their strike because you can never have too many movies and teevee shows and game shows and other things that are written, by human writers. Thank you.

The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly wherever it can appear. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.

WEATHER REVIEWS

New York City, September 13, 2023

★★★ By the time the day got properly started, the worst of the storms had already passed, but gray trailed after for hours and hours. A passage of horn-heavy music coming out an open window was overtaken by the honking of an MTA bus. Even into late afternoon, the concrete still looked damp. In the time it took to buy one scant bag of groceries, though, the sun came flooding into the doorway of the market. For a while, the play of light and shadow was everywhere—on the trees, in the furniture—making up in intensity what it lacked in duration. The sunset put bright pink edges on fat gray cumulus. The slowly desaturating blue of the sky showed in dots and fractured figures through the darkened leaves and branches.

EASY LISTENING DEP’T.

INDIGNITY MORNING PODCAST

Indignity Morning Podcast No. 145: A police dog in Chester County, Pennsylvania caught the escaped convicted murderer.

Tom Scocca • Sep 14, 2023

Listen now (4 mins) |

Read full story →

SANDWICH RECIPES DEP’T.

WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of select sandwiches from Recipes: Dainties, Salads and Clever Hints, author unknown, published by the Lorain Printing Co. in 1919. This book is in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.

DATE SANDWICHES— On buttered slices of Boston brown bread, spread fresh dates that have been washed and seeds removed. These are delicious.

SANDWICHES — Use fine grained bread one day old, butter bread before cutting from loaf; cut thin, shape each slice with fancy cutter, cut in oblongs or triangles as desired, after filling with mixture desired, press slices firmly together, wrap in a moist napkin or parafine paper until ready to use.

CHEESE SANDWICHES No. 1— Chop fine 1 cup of any nut liked, add salt and paprika, 1 cup of grated cheese, with sweet cream enough to make smooth. Graham or rye bread cut thin.

CHEESE SANDWICHES No. 2— One cup of cream cheese grated, enough currant or plum jelly to make paste. When spread, sprinkle chopped and browned peanuts over slices, press firmly together. Whole wheat bread.

CHEESE SANDWICHES No. 3— Grate 1 cup mild cheese, 1 cup chopped dates, 1/2 cup whipped cream. White wheat bread.

SPANISH SANDWICH No. 4— One cup parmesan cheese, 1 finely chopped onion top, 1 finely chopped red pepper, cream to make smooth. Rye bread.

If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, kindly send a picture to us at indignity@indignity.net.

MARKETING DEP'T.

19 FOLKTALES collects a series of timeless tales of canny animals, foolish people, monsters, magic, ambition, adventure, glory, failure, inexorable death, and ripe fruits and vegetables. Written by Tom Scocca and richly illustrated by Jim Cooke, these fables stand at the crossroads of wisdom and absurdity.

HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW, Joe MacLeod’s account of his Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account found here at Hmm Daily. The special MINI ZINE features other viewpoints related to an appearance on, at, and inside the teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire. Your $20 plus shipping and tax helps fund The Brick House collective, a Publishing Concern featuring a globally diverse set of publishers doing their own thing, with interesting items and publications available for purchase at SHOPULA.

Thanks for reading INDIGNITY, a general-interest publication for a discerning and self-selected audience. We depend on your support!