MR WRONG: Running late
Indignity Vol. 5, No. 46
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: Spring Forward in Reverse
FIRST OF ALL I want to get this out of the way, right up front, “up top,” if you will, here in this week’s episode of the Mr. Wrong column, and I would like to apologize for this week’s column.
Look, I’m not gonna lie, I’ve had a coupla drinks. There was this clothing-drive thing at one of my local taverns and I brought some stuff (socks are a good item), and then I interacted with some folks, to shake a hand, and have a word, and in the process, I enjoyed a coupla cold beers.
Anyway, that’s not why I am apologizing for this iteration of the Mr. Wrong column, having a pair of refreshing beverages and then walking home to type this week’s Mr. Wrong column? For that, I do not apologize.
I am apologizing, if you have to know (and you don’t), because this week’s column was supposed to be last week’s column, which is (was) about Daylight Savings Time, and how We The People, of the United States of America, were about to be again plunged into the so-called “saving” of our precious National resource, to wit; Daylight.
Careful and Gentle Readers know that the Mr. Wrong column is agnostic as to the whole Eastern Standard vs. Daylight Savings, thing, timewise. I have no Argument either way, it’s preposterous and presumptuous to have some sorta beef with the fabric of Time itself, which keeps on slippin’ into the Future, right? Live your life according to your own O’clock!
Yeah! Furthermore, and deeper still, the reason for this week’s Apology is on account of that the Mr. Wrong column, fundamentally and in principle, is committed to Service, as in Journalism, and I totally slept on the approach of the “spring forward” event that was going to happen the weekend after last week’s column, and in doing so, neglected my Responsibility as a Journalism-ist to warn America about the coming threat to their sleep patterns.
I woke up, this past Sunday, on Eastern Daylight Time morn’, to a houseful of misaligned timepieces! The only one that was right on time was this Atomic clock I bought and hung in the living room. It detects the emanations of some sorta radio time-emitter out in the West of the U.S. of A., where Time is simple and unfiltered, I guess, uncut Time, the Bomb, and I dunno why they call it Atomic, but anyway, it’s some sorta Scientific thing provided as a Public Service by the Government, so I guess it’s doomed?
Anyway! You know what, while we’re here, I am going to extend this Apology for last week’s column to this week’s column, because while I am apologizing for the mere existence of the content in last week’s column, due to my programming error, there was nothing really bad about last week’s column, I mean, c’mon, I can’t hit a fuckin’ home run every week, but last week’s column was at least a dribbler down the left field line to get me on base, in the parlance of our national Pastime, right? This week's column would not exist, excepting that I totally shanked last week's column, which is the raison d'être for this week's column, so apologies all around, OK? All apologies!
All right, in conclusion, we’ve been living in Daylight Savings Time, a/k/a Eastern Daylight Time, for almost an entire week, minus one hour, and on behalf of the Mr. Wrong column, I would like to extend the most sincere apology for being late. The Mr. Wrong column regrets the error.
Oh shit, I almost forgot, SERVICE JOURNALISM DEP'T.: Try and get a look at the eclipse tonight! You can stare right at it, no danger to your eyeballs!
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, March 12, 2025
★★ The morning light was judgmental about tiny bits of lint on a black shirt. The unlined coat that had seemed fine on the way out the door to breakfast was no match for the chill of later morning. The only thing that kept the extra half-block detour to the bank going was the knowledge there wasn't going to be any shorter or warmer alternative. Filtered sun emphasized the contrast between the tan stone and the tan brickwork on the Dakota. Back home it was time to get a sweater down off the shelf, but the windows stayed open.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast.
Tom Scocca
Click on this box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
GOT SOMETHING YOU need to justify to yourself, or to the world at large? Other columnists are here to judge you, but The Sophist is here to tell you why you’re right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from Cook Book of Practical and Tested Baking and Cooking Recipes, Prepared by The Ladies Aid of the Lutheran Hospital, Fort Wayne, Ind., published in 1927, and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
CREAM CHEESE SANDWICHES
Twelve thin slices white bread, 1/2 cup cottage, or cream cheese, 1/2 cup chopped nut meats, 1 teaspoon salt, 1/4, teaspoon paprika, 3 tablespoons salad dressing, 1/3 cup soft butter. Arrange slices of bread in pairs, buttering one slice of each pair. Make a paste of the rest of the ingredients, and spread this on second slice. Press the two together firmly, cut in halves crosswise, and arrange on a sandwich plate.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
