MR WRONG: Hand on the Bible
Indignity Vol. 5, No. 10
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: Inauguration Day Is Destination TV
OK, SO THE next President of The United States (POTUS), is doing a “Grover Cleveland” and coming back from being the President of The United States (POTUS), and then not being the President of The United States (POTUS), and now they got elected to another term, a discontiguous term in office, because they didn’t get elected last time, and now we’re at the point, with this particular discontiguous President of The United States of America, where there are people in and associated with the Government who aren’t gonna attend the Inauguration of the President of The United States (POTUS), which somehow is newsworthy, and I don’t get it.
First of all, The News, why not wait until the inauguration of the President of The United States (POTUS) before you take attendance on who’s there? This is like the fucking Hollywood gossip “news,” you know? It’s not real news because it hasn’t happened yet! Nobody attended or not-attended anything yet! Time machine!
I’m not gonna lie, I do not enjoy having Politics in the Mr. Wrong column, it’s too much like all the other columns that do nothing but politics, ugh! I apologize for this topic, but it has irritated me enough so I am at the point where I gotta get it out of my brain, which, believe it or don’t, I employ to type the Mr. Wrong column on the regular. Why can’t we talk about nice things, eh? The thing is, though, as much as I detest all the political pundit crapola, this topic infringes upon a topic of which I am an Expert, a Black Belt, a Connoisseur, even, and that is: Teevee!
The inauguration of the President of The United States (POTUS) is broadcast on Television, so I will be watching! Because I watch Television! I do not bother breaking it up into categories, it is all One! I will be watching! Teevee!
Is it a bad reason to watch the inauguration of the President of The United States (POTUS) because you might see somebody take a shot at the President of The United States (POTUS)? I think that is a bad reason, and that’s not why I will be watching the show on my shiny-new VIZIO 50" V-Series 4K LED HDR Smart TV.
However, it is definitely a thought, historically, when you are watching something like the inauguration of President of The United States (POTUS), that somebody might take a shot, because no matter who the President of The United States (POTUS) is, if anything in this life is certain—if history has taught us anything—it's that you can take a shot at anybody, and somebody already took a shot at our former and soon-to-be current President of The United States (POTUS), and the clowns who are supposed to be guarding against this stuff, who are supposed to be guarding all of the Presidents of The United States (PsOTUS) against danger and wackos with guns, almost let it happen again, and I must reiterate, I’m not watching because I think that’s gonna happen, and I am not watching because I want it to happen.
It’s like this, if you watch the NASCAR, or the F1, the super-fast car races, are you watching because you want the drivers to crash their cars and get in a fiery wreck? I certainly hope you do not, but it is a thought that’s there, it could happen, it has happened. Same goes for the rocket launches, do people go to Florida or wherever they have the rocket launches to watch a rocket launch because they wanna see it blow up? Again, I hope not, but what happened today? Right? Again, it can become intrusive thought, because it’s possible, and I don’t want bad things to happen, it’s simply a thought that may surface as I watch the inauguration of the President of The United States (POTUS) on my new VIZIO 50" V-Series 4K LED HDR Smart TV. I do not want anybody to take a shot at the President of The United States (POTUS), not on my watch, seriously, we don’t need that, not in this economy.
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, January 15, 2025
★★ The moon, just past full, shone in the dark purple eastern sky alongside the reflections of the round ceiling lights in the window glass. Wind lifted the loose ends of the big rolls of wrapping paper outside the dollar store and planted itself on the back of the parka to give a body walking uptown a shove. The clerk in the bare-bones combination laundry and package depot was bundled up in a winter coat. There was no way to take off a mask while leaving with hands full, but it kept the face relatively comfortable while the cold bit through the fingertips of the gloves.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
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TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
GOT SOMETHING YOU need to justify to yourself, or to the world at large? Other columnists are here to judge you, but The Sophist is here to tell you why you’re right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of sandwiches selected from A Calendar of Dinners, with 615 Recipes, by Marion Harris Neil, including The Story of Crisco, published in 1915 and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
Fried Egg Sandwiches
2 tablespoonfuls Crisco
4 hard-cooked eggs
2 tablespoonfuls cream
Salt, pepper, and red pepper to taste
2 rasped rolls
Fritter batter
Cut hard-cooked eggs free from shells into slices and pound with Crisco and cream to a paste. Season with salt, pepper, and red pepper. Cut rolls into thin slices, butter them, spread them with the mixture and make into small sandwiches. Dip each sandwich into some prepared fritter batter, and fry to golden brown in hot Crisco. Drain and serve hot.
Sufficient for twelve sandwiches.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
