MR WRONG: Fallback column
Indignity Vol. 4, No. 191
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: The Clocks Spin Backwards Into Darkness Once Again
IT’S DAYLIGHT TIME, but it’s not going to be Savings anymore, we will be Losing, right? Spending? It’s gonna be time to change Time Itself back an hour and “Fall” back to the Other Time, the non-DST, the Ordinary Time!
I got a link I wanted to share with you, the Gentle Readers of the Mr. Wrong column. It’s from the New York Times The Wirecutter section, it might not work because it is not a “Gift Link,” and if you don’t subscribe to the New York Times and you have looked at too many links, you might not be able to look at it, sorry. I’m not sure, because a regular New York Times article has a little gift-box icon up top and that’s the Gift Link, but The Wirecutter doesn’t seem to have those little boxes, just the regular chain-looking link article, which leads me to conclude they don’t have Gift Links.
Anyway, the link is entitled “Daylight Saving Time is Ending. Here’s How to Adjust to the Dark,” and it is all about how you can “adjust” to The Darkness, which, in my opinion, happens anyway, The Darkness, it doesn’t have anything to do with us (as in U.S.) changing all the clocks an hour, it’s just, like the planet Earth, and the Sun and stuff, and me, personally as a resident of the Northern Hemisphere of planet Earth, are headed toward the December solstice.
I have another link to a thing on the Scientific American site, and I will link to it here, so you can see the Scientific and American explanation for why the days are shorter, but also, since they are Scientists, there’s stuff like this that makes my head hurt:
You’d think that if the solstice is the shortest day, then December 21 would have the latest sunrise and the earliest sunset. But—as is always true in the real world—things are more complicated than that.
Also, that link is from 2023, so please don’t get confused by the dates in there about when the latest sunset and earliest sunrise are, and you know what, don’t even look at it, I apologize, I’m getting another headache trying to explain this shit, but really it’s my brain telling me to stop trying to Understand.
Further-also, don’t be fooled by this picture coming up, I am just copying it from The Wirecutter to show you how, while they won’t let me make a Gift Article Link, they want you to look at their website and buy a game from Amazon or Walmart as part of how the advice they are giving about The Darkness, not to be confused with the lack of Daylight Savings Time, and then they get a little slice of what you spend if you follow their link to Walmart and buy a puzzle or whatever the fuck that crap is they’re shilling, but we don’t do that here at the Mr. Wrong column!
We don’t sell toys or whatever that thing is here! The Mr. Wrong column exists purely on sunlight, which is fading, and air and subscriptions to Indignity and tips! Again, that link to The Wirecutter is not a “Gift Link,” like you can get from the regular New York Times, it’s a regular link, so you might not be able to look at it, and I apologize that even though I am a paying Subscriber to the New York Times, and I get 10 Gift Article Links a month, I can’t for sure say that I can give you a link to look this particular article for free, because it’s on this subset of the New York Times, and they don’t let me have any Gift Links. I think it’s also why they gave up on having a Sports Dep’t. at the New York Times, and now they have The Athletic, so they can tell you if you want Sports, you have to pay for it extra, but that’s just my theory.
Anyway, timeanddate.com has a link to show you what time it is, for real, and when Time changes, and that’s about all I can handle right now. This concludes the semi-annual Public Service edition of the Mr. Wrong column. Thank you.
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, October 30, 2024
★★★ Any hint of a chill was already gone on a trip outside in pajamas to get rid of the morning trash. It was time to dig down past the jeans in the closet to retrieve something more lightweight and breathable. The breeze pulled down leaves in a steady cascade at an angle. Grinding and banging came through the pipes of the baseboard heater, but the open window made the system shutoff irrelevant. A score of starlings spaced themselves out along the steeply angled guy wire of a metal chimney.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast.
Tom Scocca
Click on this box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.
TOM SCOCCA
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from Benson Woman's Club Cook Book, Containing Over Four Hundred Of Our Own And Our Friends' Choice Recipes, collected and compiled by Benson Woman's Club, published in 1915, now in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
DENVER CLUB SANDWICHES.
Butter slices of bread. Chip crisp bacon and small amount of onion over bread, add very thin slices of tomato and sprinkle with salt.
—Mrs. O. S. Brooks
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
MARKETING DEP'T.
We are down to the last SEVEN copies of the second printing of 19 Folktales, still available for gift-giving and personal perusal! The nights are getting chilly and longer, but the stories are each concise enough to read before your bedtime tea cools off.
