MR WRONG: Equal time
Indignity Vol. 5, No. 51
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: Hitting the Equinox
IS IT SPRING today? I don’t know anymore, people get all Accurate about when Spring begins officially, I just always think it’s the 21st of whateveruary, you know? Like, Summer: June 21. Fall: Sept. 21, Winter: Dec. 21, Spring: March 21, it’s easier that way, I’m callin’ it, that’s it, no more worrying for me, it’s always March 21, Spring, I don’t want to hear it and if you try and tell me I will go LA LA LA LAA LA LA LALALA LA LA LLLAAAAA LALALA LAAA LAAA LAAAA NO NO I AM NOT LALA ETC., NO.
OK, that means if today is really Spring, March 20, and not March 21 like it would be in my perfect world, then it’s the Equal Day, today, 12 hours each of good and bad, depending. So Happy Day to all who Observe, good times.
Also, that Moon thing last week? The Totality? I really tried, I was up at 2 a.m. looking at part of the Moon, but then it got cloudy and/or I fell asleep, but I saw great photos of the Moon the next day. That Moon thing really fucked up my sleep pattern, seriously, I needed to take a nap the next day, but I was too busy, so I never got to take the nap and then it was like 7 p.m., and you can’t take a fucking nap at 7 p.m., you might as well just give up on life and go to bed proper, brush your toofers, put on your sleepers and hit it, you know? I can’t take a nap at 7 p.m., I end up waking up at 4 o’clock a.m. in the morning, and that’s just creepy, I don’t wanna be up then, it’s not the real world, not my world, the light is fucked up, it’s quiet, no thank you please, ugh.
I think I’m still tired from last week, I’m not kidding. I drove my wife to the airport at 4 O’fuckin’ clock the day before I tried to sit up and watch the stupid Moon disappear or turn red or whatever it does. Why do I do this? I can just look at a really good photo taken by a professional Moonshot-taker, you know? I don’t wanna see the amateur stuff, I could do that myself, if I could stay awake, but you know what I mean. It’s a good thing they don’t have eclipses of the Moon by the Sun, that’s all I’m saying. Does that make sense?
Speaking of wanting to be asleep, do you watch that Severance program on the Apple-Plus-Television? It’s good, very low-key terrifying but at the same time there’s humorous parts, and the acting is excellent, everybody is a Character, you know? They are my TV Office friends, in the Cubicle Farm! I’ve been in that shit, bleah! I would never do a “Severance” procedure thing like they do the show, though, wow, it’s like being your own ghost, ugh, who would do that? There’s only one left for the Season, I guess, tomorrow night. This is one of those shows where if somebody Spoilers any of it I will fucking get really mad, I’m not kidding, no Spoilers on Severance, not cool. I hope I can stay awake tomorrow, I got up early last week.
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, March 19, 2025
★★★★ A baby cried somewhere out in the open air. A jet roared mildly from no obvious direction. Warm sun and cool breeze cooperated with each other. The bike lane on Central Park West was busy. People were conversing or working on outdoor tables on Frederick Douglass Circle. The black hoodie was the right thickness for the temperature but it felt shabby and out of season. Teens in assorted colors of Nike basketball backpacks hung out against the front of a Kennedy Chicken & Burgers, air-padded straps gleaming. Down in Fort Greene, the later afternoon sky had gone grayish but not truly gray.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
WE DID NOT record an Indignity Morning Podcast today because the installation of the new dishwasher took place in the same airspace as the podcasting, and apparently the "U-bend" from the sink had to be replaced because it was rusted out, so we will regroup and if nothing unexpected gets in the way, we will talk again tomorrow.
CLICK ON THIS box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
GOT SOMETHING YOU need to justify to yourself, or to the world at large? Other columnists are here to judge you, but The Sophist is here to tell you why you’re right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from For Luncheon And Supper Guests; Ten Menus, More Than One Hundred Recipes, Suitable For Company Luncheons, Sunday Night Suppers, Afternoon Parties, Automobile Picnics, Evening Spreads, And For Tea Rooms, Lunch Rooms, Coffee Shops, And Motor Inns, by Alice Bradley, Principal of Miss Farmer's School of Cookery, author of The Candy Cook Book and Cooking For Profit, published in 1922, and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
CLUB SANDWICH WITH SWEETBREADS
When brought from market soak
1 pair sweetbreads 1 hour in
Water with
1 tablespoon vinegar. Parboil 20 minutes in
1 cup milk. Cool in cold water, drain and cut in slices. On serving plate for each person place
1 slice toast spread to the edges with
Butter worked until creamy. Cut in two diagonally
and cover with 1 or 2 washed and dried
Lettuce leaves, and with
Mayonnaise dressing. On lettuce place a layer of
Sweetbread slices, cover with
Slices of cucumber which have been dipped in
Mayonnaise dressing and with
2 slices bacon free from rind, cooked until crisp.
Cover with
1 slice buttered toast, cut in two diagonally. Place a
Small lettuce leaf on the toast and fill with
Mayonnaise dressing. Sprinkle with
Paprika. Place on side of plate
Sweet pickled cucumber rings or
Olives, plain or stuffed.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
