MR WRONG: Consciously subconscious
Indignity Vol. 4, No. 75
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: The Return of the Brain
LAST WEEK IN this space, I typed out some thoughts that were gonna be used to make last week’s column, which I will reiterate here:
Dreaming
Lack of sleep
Psychotic
Lack of sleep drug of choice
Dreamlike state = dissociation
Controlled dissociation like controlled dreaming
10 percent of your brain - I use 100 percent of my brain
Brain is inefficient by nature
Lots of dumbasses with big heads, having a big head means zero
None of that stuff was in the column, other than I had the above listed to show my work, as it were, my notes, if you will. To quote last week’s version of me:
I wrote a whole column because of those notes, but my Brain sandbagged on all the stuff in the notes and that’ll be next week’s column!
Anyway, yeah, here we are, welcome to this week’s column! It is kind of a self-challenge that I ended up with, to see if I can write the column I thought was going to happen because of the notes! Here we go!
DREAMING
Is mostly boring, other people’s dreams, right? “Oh wow, you’re saying you were a bird and you were flying? Cool, cool-cool, this is McDonald’s, sir, did you order on the app? Does the bird dream mean you want to try the new McCrispy sandwich?”
Woof, 470 calories, I think that’s a lot, but I dunno, I would eat one at least once, this McDonald’s sandwich made out of a bird. Seriously, though, I saw a TV commercial for that and I am in. It looks like the flagship sandwich, (420 calories) from the Chick-fil-A, which I have gone to, and would visit again, and I know their views on stuff, but people work there, all kinds of people. Have you ever been in a Chick-fil-A? I am not endorsing it, you go to any fast-food you want, but the level of service in a Chick-fil-A is above par. In my experiences the staff are very polite, and they will come up to clear your table and take your tray and stuff if you’re done with it, and bring you things, like a refill on the sweet tea that is so sweet you will hallucinate and start to see math and colors of sounds, yow, I gotta remember to stick to the unsweet.
LACK OF SLEEP
What I wanted to get into here is that thing about how if you don’t get enough sleep, you don’t dream properly, because your brain needs to dream, to get rid of stuff, I think. I think your brain just needs to let it rip, go wherever it takes itself, no guardrails, just to be able to wake up and deal with Reality. Anyway, you could get kinda
PSYCHOTIC
from it. I hear some folks talk about how they don’t dream, but that’s bullshit, in fact I would contend that they dream very well indeed, and they don’t remember the dreams, which is the way it should be, otherwise you walk around telling people you had this dream where you were a goddamn bird and you were flying around, cool story, boomer!
LACK OF SLEEP DRUG OF CHOICE
This is me again, right here, this thing, this experience. I have lived inside of profound and protracted and prolonged lack of sleep owing to working way too hard at stupid jobs I have had, and my longest no-sleep period was 78 hours. I felt great, because I was like somebody high on drugs! It was a wonderful feeling, I was looking down on the Earth, and I wanted to party, and go out and do stuff, let’s go! I was completely fucked up on no-sleep. When I finally did go to sleep and woke up, wow, did I feel horrible. I know sometimes life pushes hard, but don’t get into the lack-of-sleep thing if you can avoid it. I think what I enjoyed about the lack of sleep was that I was not dreaming, but I recall feeling as if I was in a dreamlike state, and that’s what I thought was fun, nothing felt real. I have heard that feeling of unreality can be a symptom of a serious medical condition known as dissociation. Not good!
Another one of my theories of my brain is that controlled dreaming feels like being awake too long, and you are inside of what feels like a dreamlike state but you are making things happen. I have 100 percent attempted and been successful in controlled dreaming when I have had minor problems that required deep thought, and I have also practiced controlled dreaming when experiencing a recurring dream that I didn’t enjoy. I got into my dream and changed it so it would stop. I’m not making this up, you just have to remember to do it when you’re in the dream, it’s like waking up before the alarm clock goes off, you can do this if you practice, your brain is powerful!
10 PERCENT OF YOUR BRAIN - I USE 100 PERCENT OF MY BRAIN
That thing where people talk about how your brain is only using 10 percent don’t get it. Your brain is a biological machine, and it runs a certain way to get what you need from it. My theory is that my
BRAIN IS INEFFICIENT BY NATURE
Your brain needs all the margins to do the work, which I contend presents as inefficiency, you know? Your brain is doing just fine, efficiency-wise. Anybody who says this “10 percent” stuff is just repeating some shit they heard someplace so they can make you feel bad and inadequate and then sell you something. Fuck those people, right in the brain.
LOTS OF DUMBASSES WITH BIG HEADS, HAVING A BIG HEAD MEANS ZERO
Elon Musk wants you to feel bad about your brain so he can sell you stuff.
The MR. WRONG COLUMN is a general-interest column appearing weekly wherever it can appear. No refunds. Write Wrong: wrongcolumn@gmail.com.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, May 1, 2024
★★★★ A contrail stuck straight out of a white pile of cumulus like the Sword in the Stone, even acquiring a shred of cloud as a crosspiece between blade and hilt before it melted away and the cumulus stretched into a new shape. Work was out on the balcony, with thick takeout masala tea poured into a mug. The air was littoral and mild; the first opening of the balcony door had drawn the cat, curious about birds, toward the bright gap. Now a cluster of cloud-bits formed a parellelogram, then pulled together into something more solid and irregular. More clouds thickened, dimming the afternoon, but new sun came. The cat stretched out along the length of a beam of it, black fur warmed to dark-chocolate brown and pupils squeezed to slits.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
An experimental preview of today's podcast
This first rectangle, below, is the podcast file right here on GHOST. If you are reading this in your web browser, you can just stay right here and click that sideways black triangle and listen to five minutes and 34 seconds of podcast! HOWEVER, we have learned that if you are reading this post in an email, when you click on the triangle you will be taken to the web version of this post, and then you can find and click on the triangle and it will play. Let us know!
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TOM SCOCCA
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Let us know at indignity@indignity.net if you encounter difficulties with the links! Thank you for trying to listen! Podcast!
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP’T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwiche selected from Mrs. Ericsson Hammond's Salad Appetizer Cook Book, by Maria Matilda Ericsson Hammond. Published in 1924, and now in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
Smoked Salmon a la Floria
For Six Persons
Half pound salmon. Six slices of bread. One quarter of a pound of Philadelphia cream cheese. One large tablespoon of butter, pepper and salt.
How to Make It. Stir the butter to a cream, then add the cheese, pepper, and salt. Spread it on the slices of bread leaving part of it for decoration. Put a slice of salmon on each. Cut out with a large round biscuit cutter. Spread some of the salmon very thin. Cut it in pieces two inches long and one and a half inches wide. Roll it in thickness of a small finger. Place one of them on each sandwich. Glaze with aspic. Put the rest of the cheese in a paper bag that holds a fancy tube. Decorate around each sandwich with the cheese, and with dots on the rolled salmon, arrange on a platter; garnish with parsley. Serve before the soup.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
MARKETING DEP'T.
Supplies are running low of the second printing of 19 FOLK TALES, still available for gift-giving and personal perusal! Sit in the gathering heat with a breezy collection of stories, each of which is concise enough to read before the sun gets high.
HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW, Joe MacLeod’s account of his Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account found here at Hmm Daily. The special MINI ZINE features other viewpoints related to an appearance on, at, and inside the teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, available for purchase at SHOPULA.
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