Kiddie car
Indignity Vol. 4, No. 161
LOST & FOUND DEP'T.
New Wasp Arrives, Old Gun Departs
Recently Found in America
More than 100 Samsung televisions (along railroad tracks between Elmwood Cemetery and Central Gardens in Memphis, Tennessee, after nine people were charged with jumping onto a passing freight train and unloading them)
Copper items with a total weight of more than 10,000 pounds, including a four-ton copper mold valued at $55,000 (at a metal-processing plant in Salt Lake City, after the copper mold was reported stolen from the Kennecott Copper Mine, the world's largest open-pit mine and a National Historic Landmark, in Salt Lake County, Utah)
A previously unknown species of parasitoid wasp, Syntretus perlmani, the first one found to use adult fruit flies as a host (infecting a fruit fly in a trap in a back yard in Starkville, Mississippi)
A cargo of 500,000 frozen shrimp (in Perth Amboy, New Jersey, along with the truck hauling it, after the truck was reported stolen from Middlesex, New Jersey, while en route to a Costco)
A 2020 Nissan Rogue (outside a Target store in Bainbridge, Ohio, after an eight-year-old girl reportedly drove it there from her home in Bedford Heights, 11 miles away, and went into the store)
Used hypodermic needles and other medical waste (along 50 miles of beaches on the Delmarva Peninsula, from Fenwick Island, Delaware, to Chincoteague, Virginia, including all of Assateague Island National Seashore in Maryland)
A "loaded Heritage Rough Rider single action .22 caliber ‘cowboy style’ revolver" (in a backpack belonging to a 6-year-old student in Orange County, Virginia, as a classroom assistant was "helping a child, who had arrived late, get items out of their bag")
Recently Missing in America
An heirloom wedding ring and other possessions valued at $500,000 (from a house in Benedict Canyon, Los Angeles, after burglars reportedly got past neighbors and security patrols by driving an "unassuming Porsche")
Ten residential HVAC units (from neighborhoods in Jonesboro, Arkansas)
An antique flintlock pocket pistol and a knife in a beaded sheath (from the Lewis and Clark Interpretive Center in Great Falls, Montana)
Two thousand gallons of diesel fuel (from a gas station in Wilmington, North Carolina)
A John Deere 26G compact excavator (from a road construction site in Amarillo, Texas)
At least 16 cats (from the Fairmount neighborhood in Bangor, Maine, over the past two months, for which the Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife said, "We do not believe that wildlife is responsible")
A piece of glass from Ground Zero (from its place embedded in a granite memorial to a 9/11 victim in Wayzata, Minnesota)
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, September 16, 2024
★★★ The sun missed the window when it got clear of the clouds, lighting up patches of leaves in the rear courtyard instead. The cool air coming in created the pernicious seasonal illusion that it must have been chillier outside; in fact outdoors was just the same, only brightened and warmed by the sun. The scattering of leaves on the sidewalk was sparse but spanned multiple species and degrees of withering from green to brown. After a half-mile walk up Broadway, the sun had grown glaring and the long pants that had seemed necessary felt like a burden.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast, now with transcript.
Tom Scocca
Click on this box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
GOT SOMETHING YOU need to justify to yourself, or to the world at large? Other columnists are here to judge you, but The Sophist is here to tell you why you’re right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from The Swedish, French, American Cook Book, by Mrs. Maria Mathilda Ericsson Hammond, published in 1918, and now in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
Cheese Sandwiches (Sandwiches au Fromage) à l’Americaine
Can be made in two different ways. 1. Cut thin slices of bread; butter and cut the cheese in thin slices put on top; sprinkle with pepper and salt; put another slice of buttered bread on top; press down; cut in heart or oblong shape. 2. They are also made by grating the cheese, mixing it with butter, and spreading on the bread instead of the slices and rolled. Serve with afternoon tea.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
MARKETING DEP'T.
Supplies are really and truly running low of the second printing of 19 FOLK TALES, still available for gift-giving and personal perusal! Sit in the crushing heat with a breezy collection of stories, each of which is concise enough to read before the thunderstorms start.
ZERO COPIES LEFT: HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW, Joe MacLeod’s blah blah blah, etc., of his Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account that can still found here at Hmm Daily, but you know what? No more printed, expanded, more fun, tangible, printed-on-paper zine! No more! ALL GONE! Thank you! People like to reminisce about this special MINI ZINE, and how it featured other viewpoints related to an appearance on the teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, but now it is just a memory, no longer available for purchase at SHOPULA. However, there are many other fine things to read over there! Go take a look!
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