Kitty car
Indignity Vol. 5, No. 44
LOST & FOUND DEP'T.
Thou Shalt Not Steal Baphomet
Recently Found in America
AT LEAST SEVEN safes, containing papers including passports and Social Security cards (in a ravine beside State Route 118 in Simi Valley, California)
A full-sized copper replica of the Liberty Bell (under a tarp on a flatbed trailer on a street in Seattle, where a parking enforcement officer spotted it two days after it was reported stolen from Evergreen Washelli Cemetery)
Statues of Walt Disney's Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf, and 12 firearms (in Fresno, California, during a drug raid, more than a year after the statues were reportedly stolen from the Playland amusement park, which is due to close this month, and to which they had been relocated from their original home at Disneyland)
Two cats, a litter box, "about 15 cell phones," "five or six purses," and bottles of urine (inside a GMC Yukon in a police impound lot in St. Louis County, Missouri, 10 days after the vehicle was reported stolen)
Two pairs of Tiffany diamond earrings valued at $769,000 (in the stomach of a theft suspect in Orlando, Florida, according to police examination of an X-ray)
Multiple sticks of "corroded" dynamite (in a barn on a farm in Lorain, Ohio, having been there for "probably around 60 years")
Recently Missing in America
THREE PANELS OF ancient petroglyphs (from tuff rock surfaces at the Volcanic Tableland north of Bishop, California)
At least five FEMA disaster-relief checks (from the mail in multiple counties recovering from September floods in Eastern Tennessee)
A Pizza Ranch restaurant sign (from the side of a Pizza Ranch restaurant in Manhattan, Kansas, where it had been left leaning after being temporarily removed from the top of the restaurant for construction)
Flags of the United States, the State of Michigan, and the POW-MIA movement (from three flagpoles on Saginaw County Veterans Memorial Plaza, in Saginaw, Michigan, after someone apparently burned through the halyards)
A one-foot brass statue of Baphomet with a broken horn (from a front porch in the Lower Garden District of New Orleans, where it was sitting in a cardboard box to be shipped off for repairs)
An eight-foot bronze statue of John Sutter (from a rural cemetery near Volcanoville, California, where it had been installed after being removed from Sacramento in 2020)
Previously in LOST & FOUND DEP'T.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, March 10, 2025
★★★★ The first look out the window found the dimmest glimmering of predawn but no other details, contact lenses having been temporarily forgotten in the circadian stupor. Midday or what was now midday was warming but not warm yet. A stump surrounded by sawdust stood where a streetside pin oak had been, the little ledges left by incomplete saw cuts casting their shadows on the reddish wood and the decades' worth of rings. The only clouds were far off down on the uptown horizon in Amsterdam Avenue. The smell of sweet things in the oven carried from the mediocre bakery. No one out on Broadway was taking the bait and dressing for spring. Downtown, the sky above the courthouse was deep blue. Police stuffed their hands in their pockets. It was still mild in the sun but the people were gathered in the chilly shade.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast.
Tom Scocca
Click on this box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
GOT SOMETHING YOU need to justify to yourself, or to the world at large? Other columnists are here to judge you, but The Sophist is here to tell you why you’re right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from Cook Book of Practical and Tested Baking and Cooking Recipes, Prepared by The Ladies Aid of the Lutheran Hospital, Fort Wayne, Ind., published in 1927, and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
KINDERGARTEN SANDWICH
With cookie cutter of fancy shape cut out figure from piece of bread to be used for the top of a bread and butter sandwich. Place the figure cut from the dark bread into the white bread and the white bread figure into the dark bread.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
