Elegy for a strongman
Indignity Vol. 4, No. 119
Is J.D. Vance the Best Trump Can Do?
POLITICS DEP'T.
ON SUNDAY MORNING, Bloomberg's Balance of Power politics newsletter made a sweeping declaration about what had happened in Pennsylvania less than 24 hours before:
The image of a bloodied and defiant Donald Trump pumping his fist at a crowd in Pennsylvania — his lips appearing to form the word “fight” against the backdrop of an American flag under a blaring sun — will instantly enter the history books as one of those era-defining moments.
This sort of glurge was everywhere, as all the major outlets hurried to make one more burst of squalid and capricious American violence—one more guy under legal drinking age unloading military firepower in a public space—into something grand and historically meaningful. Bloomberg's version stood out only because of how obviously wrong it was, even as a gloss on the shooting:
The assassination attempt on the former U.S. president at a rally yesterday upends an already volatile and unpredictable campaign, punctured by charged rhetoric and radicalized views. It also appears to irrevocably alter the political landscape in Trump’s favor ahead of November elections.
Irrevocably! What a word to use to talk about a sudden glimpse of the lurking power of chance and chaos to disrupt the previous storyline. The only thing that would have irrevocably affected Trump's chances was if the bullet had been another inch, or inch and a half, to his left. Here, even more than with Joe Biden's feeble debate performance, the press was inventing a public response out of its own reaction. Trump pushed his way up to his feet and raised his fist—rather than, say, checking around to see who else had been hurt—because he instinctively understands fascist theatrics.
And the press ate it up because the press is the frontline audience for fascist theater. "The New Calculus for Democrats and Donors: Is Trump Unbeatable?" the New York Times Dealbook newsletter asked this morning.
No sooner had that account of the fixed new reality around Trump reached the readers, though, than federal judge Aileen Cannon, a Trump appointee, issued a ruling throwing out Trump's indictment on charges of mishandling classified material—the case that had been, by consensus, the most open-and-shut of all the criminal proceedings against him. Maybe to the imaginary masses, already inspired by his escaping the bullet, this would confirm the providential blessing on Trump's candidacy. Or maybe it was a swift, vivid reminder that Trump is a crook who corrupts everything he touches?
There have always been two competing versions of Trump, from the moment of his gaudy escalator ride down into the crowd that had been paid to pretend to like him. There's the all-powerful showman, inspiring a furious populist movement, and then there's the sagging old con artist who half-accidentally became the face of an unpopular anti-democratic political party, stumbled into the presidency, and discovered he could neither handle the job nor afford to let go of it.
Much as the press wanted the one version to have taken over on Saturday, it was the other one who showed up Monday. Rather than basking in his era-defining moment of sort-of-martyrdom, Trump—after celebrating Cannon's decision by once again defaming E. Jean Carroll, reminding everyone he's an adjudicated rapist—stepped all over his own news cycle by announcing that he was choosing the fake-hillbilly memoirist turned Ohio senator J.D. Vance as his running made.
There's plenty to say about J.D. Vance—he's a self-pitying phony; he's a repulsive dork from a club of repulsive dorks; his entire defective character was sketched out 43 years before he was born as the snobbish "Mr. C" in Dorothy Thompson's "Who Goes Nazi?" and he has in fact already gone Nazi—but what's striking about Trump adding him to the ticket is how weak it makes Trump look. In 2016, Vance was denouncing Trump as "noxious," trying to market himself as a thoughtful moderate. His pivot to full foaming Trump support, to the point of showing up at Trump's New York criminal trial in Trump costume, was always transparently about chasing the opportunity he saw in the MAGA movement.
Trump used to string people like that along, to humiliate them later. He knew better than to risk their demonstrated weakness and selfishness being turned back against him. He wanted real loyalists, people who had replaced all other principles with the principle that Donald Trump comes first.
This was supposed to be what defined his vice-presidential search. Trump's last running mate sacrificed his own reputation for moral rectitude before their first Election Day, but blanched at stealing the election for him in 2020. The No. 1 requirement for the 2024 ticket was that Trump could not afford another Mike Pence.
Formally, J.D. Vance would not be the next Mike Pence, in that he has openly said that, in Pence's position, he would have stolen the 2020 election on Trump's behalf. But the question is what Vance might do to Trump if he saw the chance to grab the presidency for himself. Turn state's evidence, spill damaging secrets to the press, activate the 25th Amendment—why wouldn't he pivot back to the center, stepping on his boss' back along the way? What would stop him?
And yet Trump picked him—not because Vance was reliable, but because he was there, with a nationally known name and some wealthy connections. The kind of truly loyal friend Trump needed wasn't an option. He'd already used them all up.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, July 14, 2024
★★ Big gold and green sequins on the sash of a woman's green dress flared in the morning sun. The air conditioners had all paused for a moment but the forecast was dire. It was a terrible day for seasoning a wok but by the time the smoke rose and the windows needed to be opened, it was too late to stop. Late afternoon's humidity was less a straitjacket than a mildly encumbering robe. Seed heads stood pale and spiky in the Park. Two women walked along the Pool making plans to keep going all the way over to the Hudson, via the Whole Foods restroom, making the most of the extended daylight. A half-moon hung over the cup of a concave tree crown. Even with the shadows lengthening, the direct sun on the hilltop made a sweat break out.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
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SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from Mrs. Ericsson Hammond's Salad Appetizer Cook Book, by Maria Matilda Ericsson Hammond. Published in 1924, and now in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
Club Sandwiches à la Européenne
Sandwiches Club à l'Européenne
Cut twelve slices of bread not too thick and trim off the crust; grind tongue through the machine once; to one and a half cups of tongue take two tablespoons of butter and stir it to a paste, flavor it with mustard, pepper and salt, and spread the twelve slices of bread with the tongue. Melt some butter in a frying pan and in that put six eggs, one for each sandwich, then break the yolks of the eggs and fry them very slowly so that they become very light; turn the eggs over when they are settled and fry them the same way on the other side. Put an egg on each of the six slices and sprinkle with pepper and salt; put the other six on top, one on each. Arrange them on a platter and cut them in triangles. Garnish with lettuce.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
MARKETING DEP'T.
Supplies are really and truly running low of the second printing of 19 FOLK TALES, still available for gift-giving and personal perusal! Sit in the crushing heat with a breezy collection of stories, each of which is concise enough to read before the thunderstorms start.
LESS THAN 10 COPIES LEFT: HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW, Joe MacLeod’s account of his Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account found here at Hmm Daily. The special MINI ZINE features other viewpoints related to an appearance on, at, and inside the teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, and is available for purchase at SHOPULA.
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