Insuppressible urges
Indignity Vol. 4, No. 106
Loader Looter
LOST & FOUND DEP'T.
Recently Missing in America
TWO KITTENS IN a "socializing pouch" (from a street in Denver, along with the 2005 Toyota 4Runner they were inside, after the SUVs driver left it running unattended)
A jeweled ring (from the possession of NBA Finals MVP Jaylen Brown of the Boston Celtics, in Boston, somewhere along the team's championship parade route)
A World War II M2 military half-track (from Boulder Mountain in the Dixie National Forest in Garfield County, Utah, where it had reportedly broken down 70 years ago, after which it officially became an archaeological feature under the jurisdiction of the Forest Service)
A tower of 14 mailboxes and their outgoing mail (from a set of mailbox towers in Waimea, Hawaii, after a "loud noise")
A sculpture of a bird skull (from a home in Fort Greene, Brooklyn)
A gold nugget "the size of a goose egg" (from a display case at the Long Beach Convention Center, in Long Beach California, during a show of coins and valuables)
One cow and four heifers (from Little River County, Arkansas)
Recently Found in America
A front-end loader and an ATM (on Vermont Route 128 in Fairfax, Vermont, after the loader was reportedly taken from the Fairfax Town Highway Department garage and then used to remove the ATM from a bank)
Approximately 510,000 extra pension payments (in the accounts of state and local pension recipients in New York State, after a computer error)
An ambulance (at State Highway 78 and Mud Flat Road in Owyhee County, Idaho, with an empty gas tank, after it was reportedly stolen by a someone leaving a hospital in Ontario, Oregon)
A former pet donkey (with a herd of elk in the Cache Creek Wilderness in Lake County, California, five years after bolting away from its human owners on a hike)
An engagement ring (at the bottom of a full cup of coffee in the cupholder of a Honda Odyssey in Lincoln County, Nebraska, according to police, after the ring was reported stolen and allegedly offered for sale)
Six puppies (in a storage bin on the parking lot of a Walmart in Latrobe, Pennsylvania)
Eight gun silencers (behind a couch in a house in Campbell County, Wyoming, according to police investigating a cleaning worker accused of stealing 168 UPS packages, including the parcels of silencers, allegedly "for the adrenaline")
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, June 25, 2024
★★★★ A door stood wide open on an upper-floor terrace. Bright tiny insects moved among the dogwood leaves. The fig plant's lone fig, hard and green for weeks and weeks on end, was bruise-colored and soft for the picking. Out in the assertive sun, under a cloudless but hazy sky, eyes could only halfway make out figures in the shade. The duckweed on the Pool was a nearly unbroken sheet from shore to shore. Ferns pushed out around the foot of a rock outcropping. The dry wind started up toward the end of the long, exposed walk past the ballfields. An ebike rider mopped his brow. A pale-limbed man came out of the park with a parasol, black on top and silver below, and twirled it a few degrees waiting at the crosswalk. The shade was still pleasant even in the full light of 2:30 in the afternoon. The first and third glimpses of the duckweed on the return trip took it for a lawn. Strips and scraps and sheets of gauzy white had joined the haze in the sky. The streets on the way to the polling site had been baked into stillness, but the playground with the fountains was a little zone of hubbub at the corner. Late-day sun reflecting off the windows cast strange glowing sigils in the streets, loops and crosses beside a student driver struggling to parallel park in an oversized space. Too many other people had thought it was an ideal evening for the curbside shed outside the Vietnamese restaurant, but the Thai place in the next block had rickety sidewalk tables waiting.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
CLICK ON THIS box to find TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast!
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich—serve before the soup—selected from Mrs. Ericsson Hammond's Salad Appetizer Cook Book, by Maria Matilda Ericsson Hammond. Published in 1924, and now in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
Anchovy with Olive à la Lethunia
Anchois aux Olives a la Lithuanienne
For Six Persons
Six slices of bread, three tablespoons of butter, eighteen very small anchovies, eight olives, two red pickled beets, pepper and salt.
How to Make It. Slice the beets very thin. Cut off the heads from the anchovies, then split them in halves and remove the bones, leaving the skin perfect. Trim the anchovies so that they are all even sizes, wide at the head part and pointed at the tail. Chop the trimmings from the anchovies very fine with three olives; mix it with two tablespoons of butter that has been stirred to a cream, pepper, and salt. Spread the bread with the mixture, then cut out with a medium patty cutter. Put one olive in the center of each sandwich that first has been stuffed with some of the butter mixture. Put the fillets of anchovies, six on each, all around with the wide part in and the tail part to the edge of the sandwiches, and in between each put thin slices of the beets with the point in and the wide part out. These slices of beets must fit perfectly between the anchovies to cover the bread. Glaze the beets and anchovies with some Cox’s gelatine. The rest of the stirred butter put in a small paper tube and decorate all around each fillet of anchovy forming them into a fish with the oval strip across the wide part of the fillet forming a head and with a little dot for an eye with a round piece of truffle. Make a strip of butter on the beet on the edge of the sandwich and little dots making a border. Circle with the butter around the olives. Leave in the ice-box until ready to serve. Place them on a platter in the form of a ring with parsley in the center. Serve before the soup.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
MARKETING DEP'T.
Supplies are really and truly running low of the second printing of 19 FOLK TALES, still available for gift-giving and personal perusal! Sit in the gathering heat with a breezy collection of stories, each of which is concise enough to read before the thunderstorms start.
HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW, Joe MacLeod’s account of his Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account found here at Hmm Daily. The special MINI ZINE features other viewpoints related to an appearance on, at, and inside the teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, available for purchase at SHOPULA.
