Indignity Vol. 3, No. 8: Wrong Place, Wrong Time
EXPANDED OFFERINGS DEP'T.
HELLO! THIS IS your second day of the new, more frequent Indignity newsletter. Rusty Foster wrote something in his Substack today about what we wrote about his Substack in our Substack yesterday, and the virtuous cycle of inspiration continues. We are pleased to present our second installment of the Indignity Daily Podcast below, as well as the Indignity debut of the long-running, award-winning MR. WRONG COLUMN. Tell a friend!
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
The Indignity Morning Podcast
You can have the Indignity Morning Podcast delivered separately to your electronic mail in-box! We don’t add subscribers automatically, we want you to be in charge! Head to Manage your subscription, where you can select and choose which sections to receive. More info here.
COLUMN DEP’T.
MR WRONG: The Groundhog Way
TODAY IS GROUNDHOG Day! It is a day that I think should be a National Holiday, for animals, and being nice to them, because Groundhogs, the “Phil” one in Pennsylvania, and even the pretender to the throne “Chuck” one in Staten Island, and now, this very morning, "Fred la marmotte" of Quebec, have died for our sins. Before the suspiciously timed demise of Fred, the most recent death was because of former NYC mayor Bill de Blasio, who fumbled a groundhog and basically murdered it. I always think about this on my Groundhog Day. Be nice to animals!
I guess eating animals is not being nice to them? OK, look, I’m not evolved enough to stop eating cheeseburgers, and I use animals as my Role Model example, because a lot of them eat animals, right? I feed my cat a can of goop made out of animals every day! Anyway, don’t confuse me with facts, it’s my Groundhog Day and I will observe it in my way, OK?
I believe the major motion picture Groundhog Day instructs us to examine our lives. Self examination and reflection, with the [SPOILER ALERT] idea of the film having a Groundhog Day repeat over and over so the main character can perceive and internalize a valuable lesson about not being an asshole. It’s Groundhog Day, don’t be an asshole!
Anyway, speaking of doing stuff over and over, the Mr. Wrong column once again finds itself in a different place! Not a new experience or a new spot for the Mr. Wrong column to manifest, but moving forward, it will be the only dot-thing domain or whatever where you will find a steaming-fresh new pile of Mr. Wrong, on the weekly. All the ideas and excitement of the Mr. Wrong column! Same shit, same day!
The previous spot for the Mr. Wrong column ran outta money, and the second rule of Columning is Follow the Money, even if it’s a teensy-weensy li’l bit, so, combinated with the first rule of Columning (Always Be Columning), here we are at Indignity Dot Net! Arrooo!
Indignity Dot Net does not have Advertising, or one of those creepy “chum box” areas down at the bottom of the web-page with the creepy pictures of weird stuff and celebrities to get you to click on them. It’s crazy how many big-deal publication websites have one of those Chum Boxes, they must generate some serious cash, but we’re not gonna do that, OK? The only thing we want you to click on here at Indignity Dot Net are the things we want you to read, and the other things we think you might enjoy reading, and the motherfucking SUBSCRIBE button, OK? If you are subscribed as a free reader, level up!
Also, not that you asked, but I don’t care what you think about the Mr. Wrong column, unless you SUBSCRIBE TO INDIGNITY. Then you can put all the Comments you want in our Comments area and make it your own Chum Box, but this time “chum” doesn’t mean cut-up bait fish and stuff to attract big fish to catch, to wit: Advertising. In this case “chum” means “friends,” who will be your fellow Commenters, who are good and nice and are Signaling their Virtue, if you will, by Commenting on all things Indignity, and showing that they pay the cash money and SUBSCRIBE TO INDIGNITY. Also-also, if you put a Comment in the Comments about the Mr. Wrong column, I still don’t care what you think about the Mr. Wrong column, but I will thank you for your support!
Don’t just do it for (or not do it because of) the Mr. Wrong column, though! We have a tiny but active Podcast that will never have any Mr. Wrong in it, I promise, and we have Sandwich Recipes and a Thought Dep’t anybody can contribute their Thoughts to, even if they are freeloaders who don’t pay to look at Indignity! Indignity Dot Net also has other writing that is way better than the Mr. Wrong column, and in the spirit of Groundhog Day, I just figured out that Indignity Dot Net does kinda have a Chum Box! The Mr. Wrong Column! Urgh!
THOUGHT DEP’T.
Do you have a thought? Send it to indignity@indignity.net, or you could tweet it and include @Read_Indignity to get our attention.
SANDWICH RECIPE DEP’T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of select sandwiches from The Federation Cook Book: A collection of tested recipes, contributed by the colored women of the State of California, by Mrs. Bertha L. Turner,
State Superintendent, Domestic Science, Pasadena, CA, published 1910, found in the public domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
CHEESE AND NUT SANDWICHES
Two cakes of Neufchatel cheese mashed fine, one-half cup pecan nuts chopped fine. Moisten with a little mayonnaise dressing. Cut bread into very thin slices and butter. Spread with mixture and cut into fancy shapes.
—Mrs. Bertha L. Turner.
If you decide to prepare and enjoy a sandwich inspired by these offerings, kindly send a picture to us at indignity@indignity.net.
