INDIGNITY VOL. 3, NO. 102: Sunk costs.

MR WRONG: The Submersible Went Looking for a Disaster

BEFORE WE BEGIN this installment of the Mr. Wrong column, I would like to congratulate the Editor of Indignity for passing the important mental milestone of 100 episodes of Indignity, along with a pile of podcasts!

Also, of course, I would like to congratulate the Mr. Wrong column for expert coattail riding on this happy success journey! Holy wow, we are talking a lotta Content here! The Editor picked some Greatest Hits to inspire any Gentle Reader out there who has not yet put the cash-money support into Indignity to do so, please and thank you. Nobody does what we do! We are Sui Generis, if you will, so get your money up, OK? OK! Indignity!

This wasn’t supposed to be my topic for today’s column, but it looks like the people on that mini-sub or more accurately, I believe, submersible, are as of today, now inventory in Davy Jones’ Locker, along with the folks who went down with the Titanic back in the year Nineteen Hundred and Twelve.

A lotta people who are mad at Billionaires are like “Ha! Stupid Billionaires, you get what you paid for,” or whatever. I don’t know if all five of the people who got killed inside that submersible vehicle were Billionaires, but, you know, they all had the time and money to climb inside an oversized Thermos bottle and go look at a rusty old ship on the bottom of the fucking ocean, so it’s easy to be mad at them, eh? No offense, but I think they’re chumps for taking a Voyage to the Bottom of The Sea, period. I don’t care how much money they had, they were doing some ultra-super dangerous shit and they took the Ultimate Thrill Ride, ouch and oof.

I mean, if they were doing some Scientific Research or helping the World somehow, it would be a Tragedy, I think, but this is just Death by Misadventure. I hope on some level they had an exciting time, and then had a quick Death. “Gee, isn’t this great?”—KA-BLAMMM! CRRRUSH!!! GLOOP! I wish that for almost everybody, a Quick Death. I certainly wish it for me, and I wish it for you, the Gentle Reader of the Mr. Wrong column. A Quick Death for you! A quick Death for All! Except my Enemies, of course. Suffer, Enemies! Arrrh!

Personally, I consider it unfortunate when people who are Explorers, Tourists, or even Cargo, die a horrible death in the Briny Deep, so my Empathy gives me a little bit of a shiver in me Timbers. Again, I hope they went fast, and yeah, in the same News Cycle, hundreds of souls, hundreds, were lost in the Mediterranean Sea in the sinking an overloaded fishing boat fulla people, just looking for a better way to survive their existence.

They weren’t looking for a better way to piss away a tiny slice of all the excess cash they’re sitting on, they were just looking for a place where they could get a shot at earning enough for three hots and a cot, and that is Tragic. How fucking desperate, to just be like “OK, let’s get on this overloaded boat and hope for the best. Can’t be any worse than what we’re leaving.” Ugh.

Is it the Billionaires’ fault people are starving and living in horrible conditions and are willing to risk everything for a blind stab at a better life? Maybe! I’m not good at math, but it seems like all the Billionaires could be doing a better job at reducing Suffering on the Earth, you know? I don’t know, I can’t be happy about five people checking out just because a hundred people checked out at the same time, but I know who I feel bad for, and it’s not the folks who burned cash looking for a Unique Experience. I mean, I don’t even like roller coasters anymore, you know? I just want a coupla drinks, a nice meal, sure, maybe take a boat ride, one of those sunset cruises, those are nice.

SELF-CONGRATULATORY SELF-PROMOTION DEP’T.: While I am basking in the glow of over a hundred doses of Indignity, I would like to remind you and urge you to visit SHOPULA to purchase the HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW. It is my account of the Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account found here and features other viewpoints of the Experience in, around, through, and beyond my quest to be a contestant on the televised teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, also featuring previously unreleased images. Your $20 plus shipping and tax helps fund The Brick House collective, a Publishing Concern featuring a globally diverse set of publishers who do their own fucking thing, and also have stuff at SHOPULA on offer, and again, this all goes to help the Brick House collective be an independent thing and not have to depend on some psycho Billionaire. Thank you.

WEATHER REVIEWS

New York City, June 21, 2023

★★★★ The early part of the solstice day was dim and the air was so pleasantly chilly that the train air conditioner felt miserably cold. A stiff breeze, redolent of growing things and the sea, pushed its way down Central Park West. To have tried to welcome summer in shorts would have been a mistake. The afternoon light acquired a sparkle and the clouds resolved into shapes, lower and higher. A man slipped dog-walking fliers into the plexiglass sheet where permits were mounted on a plywood construction barrier. "Stayin' Alive" thumped across Columbus Avenue from the setup for a wine tasting.

EASY LISTENING DEP’T.

INDIGNITY MORNING PODCAST

Indignity Morning Podcast No. 93: The ad does not say.

Tom Scocca • Jun 22, 2023

Listen now (4 min) | The Indignity Morning Podcast is also available via the Apple and Spotify platforms.

Read full story →

SANDWICH RECIPES DEP’T.

WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS for the assembly of select sandwiches from Nine Hundred Successful Recipes, by Lulu Thompson Silvernail, Domestic Science Teacher for The Southwestern Milling Company, Inc. Published in 1923, this book is in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.

CUCUMBER, ONION AND CHEESE SANDWICHES.
1 pkg. Neufchatel cheese
1 cucumber (medium size)
1 onion, size of walnut
Dash of cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon paprika
2 tablespoons mayonnaise dressing
1/4 teaspoon salt

Chop cucumber and onion together, to which add cheese and mix well together. Next add pepper, paprika, mayonnaise, and salt. Spread on thin slices of rye or white buttered bread.

CUCUMBER AND CHEESE SANDWICHES.
2 medium sized cucumbers
2 hard cooked eggs
1 carton of snappy tinfoil cheese
Salt and pepper to taste

Grind the cucumbers and eggs together, then combine with the cheese, mixing until well creamed. Add salt and pepper, mix and spread on buttered bread. An onion may be ground with the mixture if desired, or a very few celery seed may be added.

If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.

MARKETING DEP'T.

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