Fortnight strategy
Indignity Vol. 4, No. 157
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT DEP'T.
Give Yourself an Extra Two Weeks
HERE IS SEPTEMBER, the season of less daylight and more to do in it. The loose structure of summer is giving way; a whole new set of obligations is clicking into place. For high school seniors, the college application schedule is nigh, with its unforgiving list of deadlines.
A natural thing to do under tightening time pressure is to push back against it by procrastinating. There are so many things stacked up to do, why not focus on the nearest one and let the others take care of themselves for a little while?
Alas, you can't. Not anymore. These are grim times for procrastinators. In addition to the usual boring and unpersuasive goody-goody reasons to get going on that project or to send off those emails right away, there's now an unpleasant but decisive reason: you might get sick.
Most people have agreed that they're not going to wear masks or avoid crowded indoor spaces anymore, or even to test themselves for covid and isolate themselves. That fight is lost. The only thing about the Covid pandemic that's non-negotiably refusing to go back to normal is the SARS-CoV-2 virus itself, which continues to break out in waves, infect people, and knock them flat for a week or two.
And whether you want it to or not, the virus is going to dictate when things get done. Did you go to the Democratic National Convention and make big plans for what to do after? Turns out those plans needed to wait a while longer. Is your mayoralty collapsing in slow motion under the weight of scandal? Now it's going even slower.
There are new Covid booster shots, and you definitely need to get one. But beyond that, no one else is looking out for your well-being anymore, and statistically speaking, you probably aren't looking out for your own well-being either. What you can do for yourself, though, is at least build in some extra time so when the virus catches you, it doesn't catch you up short. Two weeks, to be sure.
The days of precision scheduling are over. These are the new terms of everyday living. Anything you might want to do requires a fallback date. Looking to go pick some Honeycrisp apples? Be prepared to end up with some Fujis instead.
ONCE YOU SEE IT, THERE IT IS DEP'T.
I Always Thought It Would Be Clemenza
WE WERE SHOWING the kids The Godfather, so they would know about The Godfather, and when Abe Vigoda appeared onscreen as Tessio, the first thing I thought was that he didn't really look all that old. The Abe Vigoda of legend always looked like he was 85 years old, but the actual Vigoda was around 50 when they made The Godfather and he still had—for Abe Vigoda—a certain youthful glow. Then as I kept watching, another thing occurred to me about Abe Vigoda.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, September 9, 2024
★★★★★ A quarter-hour after sunrise, the shadows in the avenue were still so deep it took a walk over to the front windows to confirm that the sky was clear and that light was reaching the upper parts of buildings. Before long a crisp silhouette of the top branch of a tree stood projected on a patch of white wall high up on the otherwise decorated townhouses. The late morning air was still crisp and the western sky deep blue, even as a warm sun whitened the east. Up outside the West Fourth Street subway stairs, a worker gathered an armload of cut branches and fed them into a roaring chipper. A gust scooped up a pigeon feather on a corner and carried it along the block at torso height. The question of whether the day felt warm or cool at any particular moment didn't matter anymore. On the street outside the neighborhood market, one of the honeylocusts had scattered its first few golden leaflets.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast, now with transcript.
Tom Scocca
Click on this box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
GOT SOMETHING YOU need to justify to yourself, or to the world at large? Other columnists are here to judge you, but The Sophist is here to tell you why you’re right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from The Swedish, French, American Cook Book, by Mrs. Maria Mathilda Ericsson Hammond, published in 1918, and now in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
Sardine Sandwiches (Sandwiches aux Sardines)
Twenty-four slices of bread and butter, twelve sardines, two eggs, one teaspoon chopped parsley, one teaspoon pepper and salt, one bunch watercress or lettuce.
How to Make It. Cut some thin slices of bread and butter, and put some of the following mixture on each slice. Bone and press through a sieve the sardines, the yolks of two hard-boiled eggs, add two tablespoons stirred butter; and some finely chopped parsley; season highly with pepper; mix well all together. Cut the sandwiches into oblongs; arrange and garnish with cress or lettuce in the centre and serve on a paper doily.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
MARKETING DEP'T.
Supplies are really and truly running low of the second printing of 19 FOLK TALES, still available for gift-giving and personal perusal! Sit in the crushing heat with a breezy collection of stories, each of which is concise enough to read before the thunderstorms start.
LESS THAN 5 COPIES LEFT: HMM WEEKLY MINI-ZINE, Subject: GAME SHOW, Joe MacLeod’s account of his Total Experience of a Journey Into Television, expanded from the original published account found here at Hmm Daily. The special MINI ZINE features other viewpoints related to an appearance on, at, and inside the teevee game show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, and is available for purchase at SHOPULA.
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