FOOD FRIDAY: Digging up a treat
Indignity Vol. 5, No. 57
FOOD FRIDAY: Low-Effort Carrot Dip
WE FIGURED OUT how to make this dip, or spread, or whatever it is, sometime around the turn of the century. Then the kids complained about it because they were in a picky phase, and we stopped making it for a decade and more or less forgot about it. Now the kids can go buy their own food if they're hungry, so we remembered it and I made some again. It is very simple.
Buy a loaf of good crusty bread wherever you get good bread. Or bake a loaf of bread if that's what you do.
Get some carrots, two or three pounds' worth, and one medium yellow onion. Heat the oven to 350 degrees. Peel the carrots, chop them into thumb-sized chunks, and throw them in a roasting pan. Chop up the onion into fairly large chunks and scatter those into the pan with the carrots. Pour a hearty drizzle of olive oil all over everything, then salt it. Shake a visible dusting of ground cumin over the contents of the pan and stir things around so the oil is evenly distributed.
Cover the pan with foil, put it in the oven, and go do something else. When you smell roasted carrots, get the pan out and stick the carrots with a fork to see if they're tender. If they're not, cover them and give them another 10 minutes or however long it takes till the fork goes in easily.
Turn the oven up to 400, uncover the pan, and stir it around. Try to poke down any bits of onion so they don't stick too far up above the carrots and get dried out. Roast it all for another 15 minutes or so, till the carrots start getting brown in places, or at least a darker orange. When that happens, take the pan out and let it cool down for a while.
Dump the cooled-off contents of the pan, including the oil it all roasted in, into a blender or food processor. Puree it. If it's too stiff and clumping away from the blades, splash some water in with it until it blends up nice and fluffy. Scrape it out of the blender into a bowl. Spread it on the bread. Eat it. Or don't eat it, nobody's making anybody do anything, I'll just have some more myself.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City, March 27, 2025
★★★ The trees kept on growing and swelling, indifferent to the cold. Up in the next block, the new water tower stood up under its shiny roof, its wood still cream-colored. Light glittered on sprouting branches. The blue of the sky shone on the tops of cars, framed by the warped images of buildings, overpowering whatever the automotive paint colors may have been. It was all marvelous to look at, but preferably with a window in the way to block the chill.
SIDE PIECES DEP'T.
FOR DEFECTOR, I wrote about the somehow less scandalous part of the Trump administration's insecure Yemen bombing chat, in which National Security Advisor Michael Waltz typed "The first target—their top missile guy—we had positive ID of him walking into his girlfriend’s building and it's now collapsed":
Tom Scocca
The "girlfriend's building" was evidently not a military facility but a residential building in Yemen's capital, Sana'a, which U.S. forces hit sometime around a quarter after eight o'clock in the evening. Initial news about the leveling of a dwelling in Sana'a reported that at least two people were killed and 13 injured, with three children among the wounded. Overall, the Houthi health ministry reported that the American attacks killed 53 people, with "five children and two women" among the dead.
In all of the available text of the group chat, Waltz's mention of the girlfriend was the only reference, however oblique, to the fact that the war plans involved United States forces deliberately bombing at least one civilian target. The only real disagreements about the attack revolved around Vance's belief that it would be a "mistake" for the United States to protect European shipping from Houthi attacks without getting concessions from Europe in return, and his warning of a "further risk that we see a moderate to severe spike in oil prices."
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast!
Tom Scocca
CLICK ON THIS box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
GOT SOMETHING YOU need to justify to yourself, or to the world at large? Other columnists are here to judge you, but The Sophist is here to tell you why you’re right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from The All-American Cook Book: Being a Collection Chiefly of Recipes of the Favorite Dishes of Famous Americans, by Mrs. Gertrude Frelove Brebner, published in 1922, and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
DEDICATION
This volume is dedicated to the American principles of democracy and progress; to the ex-service men who fought for these principles in the World War; to those of their number who gave their lives; and to those also of their number, wounded, disabled and needy, now in our midst.
GREETINGS
EMBASSY OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Rome, January 20, 1922.
Dear Mrs. Brebner:
From over the sea I send to you and to the readers of your proposed book, my hearty greetings.
Sincerely yours,
RICHARD WASHBURN CHILD.
U. S. SENATOR W. E. EDGE, State of New Jersey
Oeufs Gourmet
Six hard-boiled eggs, 1/2 cup grated American cheese, 5 tablespoons tomato catsup, few grains pepper, few grains mace, few grains paprika, olive oil, lettuce and stuffed olives, 1/4 teaspoon salt. Split the eggs in halves lengthwise. Remove the yolks, mash them, and combine with the cheese, seasonings, and catsup, adding olive oil to moisten as necessary. Roll into oval balls, lay them in the whites of the eggs, and garnish each with half a stuffed olive. Serve in nests of lettuce with cheese straws. The cheese mixture alone or with the egg-yolks makes delicious sandwiches, or the whole may be served with mayonnaise as a salad.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
